Sunday, January 11, 2009
Letting Go
Letting go is very painful. I am feeling super awful. Has been crying all night. Guess I have been suppressing my tears too much in front of her. Perhaps, what my dad said was right. Rather than praying that her life will be extended, it will be better for us to pray that she can leave without much suffering and in peace. She's already 93 and it's a matter of time that she would leave us. But upon hearing what my dad said, I cant help feeling terribly upset.
I wasnt a good granddaughter. Not visiting her enough. Not talking to her more often. When i held her hand, I dont know when was the last time i held her hand like this. It was agonising. When i cried, she squeezed my hand as if asking me not to cry. She responded by squeezing your hand to indicate that she is aware of your presence.
So many things I wish she can see before she leave, see me success in life, see me get married, see me with my children...But life isnt for eternity.
I wasnt a good granddaughter. Not visiting her enough. Not talking to her more often. When i held her hand, I dont know when was the last time i held her hand like this. It was agonising. When i cried, she squeezed my hand as if asking me not to cry. She responded by squeezing your hand to indicate that she is aware of your presence.
So many things I wish she can see before she leave, see me success in life, see me get married, see me with my children...But life isnt for eternity.
Labels: Sad
